8 Struggles of Being an Introverted Mother
Introverted mothers experience a set of unique struggles. While we all have our own way of parenting and raising children, introverts have their own set of challenges that can make parenting even harder than it already is.
Being a mother involves a need to be present, to devote time and energy, and to push yourself out of your comfort zone. These tasks are difficult, tiring, and may even feel impossible at times. Below are eight specific struggles that many introverted mothers face.
1. You struggle with making small talk.
As introverts, you and your partner are both likely to prefer spending time alone at home rather than going out and mingling with friends or family. This makes it especially hard for you to strike up conversations when meeting others who don't know you very well, as there's no clear point of mutual interest in the room.
For single mothers, the idea of dating can be off putting simply based on the necessity for small talk. On top of this, children are inquisitive and ask a multitude of questions. Even though they are close loved ones, the small talk can still drain a mothers energy.
2. You do not like to be the center of attention.
As a mother, you are more than likely going to be the center of your child's world. This is an honor and a privilege, but it can also be difficult to adjust to for introverts. In any other situation, an introvert would seek to avoid being the center of attention. But with parenting, this is unavoidable.
The silver lining to this is that interactions with loved ones are far less draining than with strangers. Being the go-to person for your child may be tiring at times, but fortunately, it is not going to be as taxing as other situations.
3. You have trouble relaxing or do not get enough sleep.
If you're an introverted mother, chances are you have trouble relaxing and getting enough sleep. You may have a hard time turning your brain off because you are always thinking about your kids—what they are up to, whether they're safe and happy, and if they might need anything from you. This can make it hard for an introvert to relax or sleep.
The good news is, there are quite a few ways that you can actively relax and help yourself fall asleep at night. For example, try taking a bath or shower with some lavender-scented products. You can also meditate, practice mindfulness techniques, write in your journal, or exercise regularly to burn off some of that excess energy.
4. You dislike having to make small talk with other parents.
You love your child, and you want them to flourish and be happy. But that doesn’t mean that you love having to escort them to school events or playdates and make small talk with other parents.
In general, introverts are just not great at making conversation and connecting with people on a surface level. Simple conversations can be more taxing than beneficial, and the process may cause stress or anxiety.
When your child makes friends with another classmate, getting to know the other parent is a vital responsibility to ensure your child's safety. Even so, these interactions can be kept to a minimum. Spending time with the parent alone or becoming close friends with them is not an obligation that introverted mothers should feel.
5. You have no energy for all of the social obligations that come with being a parent.
Birthday parties, sporting events, school functions, and countless other obligations are sure to pop up when you have children. For introverted mothers, the responsibility of attending these obligations can be overwhelming. You may even feel like you are not a good mother because of your lack of energy in this regard.
Mingling with other parents while your child plays can feel uncomfortable for most, especially if they are unfamiliar people. Introverted mothers spend the bulk of their social battery on their children, and rightfully so. But, because of this, they have very little energy left to give to other adults. The social obligations that come with having children can be simply too much at times.
6. It is hard for you to be generous with your time.
As a parent, your job is to be generous with your time and attention. You have to be incredibly generous with your love, your patience, and your understanding.
As an introvert, this can be difficult. The idea of spending every waking hour with our children, and sometimes even just being around them, can make us feel exhausted before we even begin.
However, as a parent, we must learn to push through this discomfort in order to thrive. Losing the unlimited recharge time that can exist for single people is difficult, but the reward of being a parent far outweighs this challenge.
7. You will never stop worrying about your kids, which leaves you little room for anything else in your headspace.
As an introverted mother, you are aware of the dangers that surround children and desperately want to keep them safe at all costs. You’re constantly on high alert and thinking about what could happen if something were to go wrong. This can be exhausting both physically and mentally, which is why many introverted mothers end up not getting enough sleep or feeling like they have no energy left over after their kids are asleep.
Introverted people are natural overthinkers. They spend the large majority of their time reflecting, dreaming, and inquiring internally. When you add children into the mix, the overthinking can become even more exhausting. For first time mothers, the worries that come with the newborn stage can take up nearly all of their mental energy. This can cause lapses in attention span during the day, an inability to focus on other tasks, and a general feeling of mental fatigue.
8. You worry about how much time and attention you give your kids.
Devoting your time and attention to another person or group of people is an adjustment that requires a considerable amount of thought. Introverted mothers often worry that they do not have enough time or attention to lend to their children and may be concerned that they are negatively impacting them.
Truthfully, introverted mothers make for some of the most incredible parents. They are considerate, gentle, and acutely aware of their children's feelings and well-being. This positive parenting will impact their children as they grow into adolescents and adults. Even if they need to devote more time to their own self care than an extroverted mother might, the time that they are spending with their children is valuable and full of love.
Conclusion
Being an introverted mother is not easy, but it can absolutely be done. Even in situations where they may not feel like they are doing the best they can, the likelihood is that they are doing incredible.
Introverts offer their children some amazing life lessons and qualities that play a role in positive development and high quality citizens. Introverted mothers deserve to recognize their own accomplishments and appreciate how hard they work when it comes to raising their children.